ROSE

Walking to the next bus stop for the second of three total, J hears a yell through her headphones.

 

Derrick: 

(yelling out the passenger window from the driver seat)

J!

 

J hits the volume-down button on the CD player in her coat pocket and contemplates looking in the direction of the yelling. Kavon in the passenger seat and Tre in the back, join in with Derrick.

 

Derrick, Kavon, and Tre: 

JAAYY!!!

 

She turns this time and sees everybody in the car.

 

Derrick: 

C’mon I gotchu.

 

She hops in and says wassup to everybody. These were her core Ngs, but she’s been keeping distance from everybody the past few months.

 

Derrick makes a couple stops in the direction of J’s house and at the last stop he rolls up for everybody. J ends up more paranoid than usual...

 

Derrick’s phone rings.

​

Derrick:

Yo.

​

Muffled voice:

... ... ...

​

Derrick:

We there then.

​

Muffled voice:

… … …

​

Derrick:

I'm waiting on the issue.

​

Muffled voice:

… … …

​

Derrick: 

Fuck that. We good!

 

J’s paranoia is now through the roof.

 

Muffled voice:

… … …

​

Derrick:  

Whatever Ng. 

If you don’t hit me back, you know what it is.

 

Tre:  

It’s him huh?

 

Kavon:  

Who?

 

Derrick:  

Yeah, out here ;ike life is all good and shit.

 

Tre:  

Let’s get that Ng.

 

Kavon catches on and knows exactly who it is now. He reaches under his seat and so does Derrick.

 

Tre:  

(taps Kavon on the shoulder)

Ay my Ng, let me handle this. Please!

 

Kavon looks at Derrick for approval. Derrick gives a little nod.

 

Kavon:  

(turns back to Tre)

You sure my Ng?

 

Tre:  

(vengeful stare)

Solomon was my mutha fuckin Ng. My brother!

I don’t give a fuck about shit else Ng!

 

J has been praying for this day, praying she’d be right there when it was time, but time slows as Kavon reaches back to hand the piece to Tre. Her war with vengeance and fear is right on display as that black steel transitions from one possession to the next. J knows exactly how this is going down and Vengeance is beginning to lose to Fear.

 

It’s completely silent now. Music is still down from the call, everyone is focused and all that is heard is metal to metal; releasing and checking clips, loading others ones. J finally accepts that she is scared to death and as soon as they pull up to the next stop, she opens the car door and takes off running before Derrick has the chance to “assign” everybody’s role. She doesn’t say a word, just jets. She wants none of the responsibility she had been praying for.

 

Kavon:  

The fuck is she doing?!

 

Derrick:  

She know exactly what she doing. If we got any closer she be stuck. 

This life ain’t for everybody.

 

Tre:  

Shiiit it’s the life for me.

 

J runs as hard as she can for as long as she can; not running from anyone just her own struggles. Catching the bus is no longer an option, just in case shit go down and word gets out ASAP. She tries to think of who she can call for a ride (Teeka’s at work, my mom’s gonna ask hella questions… my Auntie too…) She hesitates, but decides to call L.

 

L:  

(kinda surprised)

Hello

 

J:  

Hey you busy?

 

L:  

Not really. Why you sound like you’re outta breath?

 

J:  

I am a little. If I gave you gas money, could you come get me?

 

L:  

You good? Where you at?

 

J:  

Yeah I’m good. I’m in Emmerson.

 

L:  

Emmerson?

 

J:  

You know where Hughes park is?

 

L:  

Nah.

 

J:  

You know the Dawson exit?

 

L:  

Yeah.

 

J:  

Take that exit. I’m like 5 minutes from there.

Just call me when you’re getting off.

 

L: 

Aight… J.

 

J: 

Hnh?

 

L:  

What happened?

 

J panics with thoughts of where to begin, what to say, what not to say, and fights just to say anything at all.

 

J:  

I’ll tell you when you get here. I’m good though.

 

L:  

Aight, I gotta maka stop so it might take me a minute.

 

J:  

That’s fine.

 

J heads up a little hill from the park, tucking herself into the woods a bit; waiting patiently with a perfect view of the park.

 

L calls J and she directs him to where she's at. He pulls up and she hops in.

 

J:

(letting out a breath of relief) 

Good lookin’ out. For real.

 

L: 

What happened?

​

J:  

(hesitation: exhales, shaking her head)

Basically…

some shit was bout to go down...

and… I ran.

 

L:  

They looking for you?

 

J:  

No. They ain’t worried about me.

If Anton was there it’d be a different story. But I’m good.

 

L:  

I mean but what happened though.

 

J sinks her head into her hands and tries not to cry.

 

J:  

I just… It was just a ride home.

But then somebody called.

(she sighs)

They told him…

(looks in L’s eyes)

where dude was at…

(looking down shaking her head in disappointment)

And I didn’t wanna be there.

I mean I did, but I didn’t, obviously.

​

L puts it together quickly.

​

L:  

Who was you with?

 

J stares at L with guilt trying to answer, but L gets his answer just from the look in her eyes and is slightly confused.

 

L:  

I thought you wasn't doing shit with them like that no more?

 

J:  

I wasn't, I'm, I'm not . They just seen me and was giving me a ride.

 

L starts second guessing shit that J holds back.

 

J: 

I’m still coo with them. None of them ever did me wrong. Even now. I said... I would do whatever it takes and I fuckin meant it, but I can't. I just... I’m good... on all this shit. Even if Solomon was still here. It was already kicking in like I don’t need to be in this shit.

This ain't the life for me.

​

L stops second guessing and starts sympathizing instead.

 

L: 

Yeah. It shouldn’t be for nobody.