ROSE

L is over the “appearances”. It’s becoming harder and harder to stomach the fakes; the people and convo. One lady in particular pushes him to his limit with her low judgements of him yet high expectation of his presence and support for her selfish ambitions. She's the last straw to push him toward a clever exit, avoiding his manager and all. 

 

J’s in a town car supposed to be on her way back to the hotel to celebrate with the board; pretty much drink away all the work that went into the gala. The palm trees pass swiftly as she stares out the window like a little girl. She realizes how much she misses home; the sunshine, the mountains, the bright pink and yellow flowers that are everywhere! She looks down at her fancy blue gown, contemplating her recent accomplishments. This is success?

 

J:  

(handing cash to the driver)

I’m sorry.

Can you head back towards the Stadium?

 

The driver smiles.

 

Driver: 

You back home huh?

​

J smiles big and nods her head yes.

 

Driver: 

You know, your heart…

 

J:  

(smiles)

Is where home is?

 

Driver: 

Yes. BUT I was gonna say your heart is always right! And I can tell you gotta good one. So listen to it.

 

J lights up inside with the words “heart” and “right” echoing in her mind. She has the driver drop her at the spot she and L use to post at. She doesn’t really expect him to be there, but deep down, a tiny hope imagines that by some miracle he will be.

​

And there he was, with his head down just like all those years ago at Damon’s house.

 

J feels her heart trying to jump out of her chest as she makes her way towards L. He might even hear it, as loud as it it's pounding. He lifts his head and, from his periphery, notices a figure. At first it’s something like an angel out of movie scene, but closer and closer he realizes it’s J. And more and more, he is slightly elated. Being found, by J anyway, feels like the perfect surprise.

​

J:  

(nervous)

I didn’t, I really didn’t think you’d be here.

 

L stares in amazement and confusion like how does she get more beautiful. This royal blue, crushed velvet gown hugs her entire frame and J moves within it like she is pure royalty.

 

J:  

(unsure if she’s welcome)

I just ditched drinks with my team to…

reminisce I guess.

 

L is still staring, wondering where and who she is having drinks with dressed the way she is. 

 

J:  

(still unsure)

I can go if you…

 

L: 

(snapping out of his gaze)

Nah. I ditched my team too.

 

J:

It’s getting crazy?

 

L:

(shakes his head)

Like you said it would.

 

J:

I said you could handle it tho.

 

L:

You did.

 

J:

(smiling)

And you is.

 

L smiles back, still shaking his head though.

 

L:  

(looking her up and down)

Apparently, you is too. 

 

J:

(all humble)

I'm getting there, figuring it out.

​

L:  

(kinda joking)

What you tryna have ya own hospital or something? 

 

J:

(still humble, kinda hesitant)

Well, I mean yeah. Either that or focus on global healthcare. 

​

L stares for a quick second, admiring J's ambition. 

​

L:  

(as if it would be obvious to J)

You know I thought about you soon as I got here.

 

J:

(surprised and relieved)

Yeah?

 

L:  

(nodding his head yeah)

You just kept popping up in my head.

Then you really just popped up.

​

J:  

(still nervous)

I really didn’t think you’d be here. I mean, part of me thought if I came here, I’d somehow spend part of my night with you. But...

 

With eyes locked, L imagines all night with J; recalling previous nights, hoping for more, but trying not to agonize on the future he really desires.

 

L:  

(reaching for her hand)

C’m’ere.

 

He pulls her in for a hug finally. They share a few deep breaths before he spins her around to hold her so she can see the view. L presses his face onto J's and hits her with a blast from the past.

 

L:  

My girl?

 

J:  

(reluctantly smiles)

Always.

...

But I mean...

 

L:  

What you mean “but you mean”?

 

J:  

(smiling)

I mean, we’ve never, been together.

 

L:  

And whose fault is that?

 

J is looking like not mine!

 

L:  

I been right here J.

 

J:  

Me too.

 

L:  

Oh word Ms. New York?

 

J:  

Yeah Mr. World Tour.

 

L:  

Yeah tour. I come home eventually.

 

J:  

(slightly defensive attitude)

Well, I had to make a home. Something I could be part of.

​

L:  

You had to go 3000 miles for that?

​

J:  

(confused)

It was an opportunity I didn't have over here.

You know that.

​

L:  

(slowly nodding his head)

Yeah, it's always good opportunities keeping you there too.

​

J: 

What I'm supposed to do? I can't just leave now.

I’m like, part of a whole community.

 

L:  

(looks in J's eyes)

You could part of the whole world J.

 

J knows there’s truth to that and gets excited by the thought, but she’s forever doubtful of all she is worthy of.

 

L:  

You could be Mrs. World Tour, but you got "your community.”

 

J:  

(offended)

It’s not my community and if THAT was true, it would’ve happened by now.

 

L:  

(pulls away)

Yeah, you right.

 

J:  

(confused)

Look, I say your girl, always.

Whatever that means now… But I-

 

L:  

Whatever that means?!

 

J:  

L, I can’t wait for you. You go years sometimes...

 

L:

Wait for me?! It’s all on me huh?

 

J looks at him like it’s not on me!

 

L:

I don’t get it J. I don’t get it and I don’t get you.

 

J:

(hurt and defensive)

What?!

 

L:

You say,

(finger quoting)

“Always!” But you always leave. The back and forth, the getaways, the fucking dreams! This shit is just a movie for you or what?

 

J is stuck, completely breathless as her eyes begin to flood.

 

J:

What do you think of me?

 

L:

What do you think of me?! Why are you even here?!

 

J:

(holding back tears)

I told you!

 

L:

To get away right? Reminisce?

 

J:

Wow.

 

L:

Am I wrong?

...

Am I wrong?

 

J:

(shaking her head, tears breaking through)

Am I?!

I’m wrong for... thinking of... of you?!

That's what it comes down to.

 

L:

(shaking his head)

Comes down to you using me! Whenever you need a pick-me-up. If you wanted more than the reminiscing, you’d be here. For real.

 

J is too hurt to speak. Every moment with L charges to the front of her mind and she questions when and how she's supposed to “be here” when it never seemed possible. L takes her lack of response to "being here" as proof to his point. 

​

L:

(shaking his head, starting to walk away)

I don't know what you want from me.

 

J:

You’re just gonna leave?

 

L:

(still walking away)

Yeah. Like you always do.

 

J:

Like I always do?!

 

L:

(stops and turns back to J)

You heard me!

 

J:

(still confused and hurt)

Are you telling me that all of a sudden, you give a shit about me being in New York, when you nev-

 

L:

All of sudden. All of a sudden?!

 

J:

You didn’t do a damn thing every time I came back so how you acting like it’s all on me?

 

L:

This shit is crazy. The fuck was I supposed to do?!

 

J:

Something! You acted like you ain’t give a shit one way or the other. It was nothing for you. You had your own shit going, I wasn't tripp-

 

L:

You left J! Twice!

You expecting me to chase after you, I expected you to stay. Twice!

You made it clear. You ain’t give a fuck like that...

​

J replays L's words which cut deep into the most vulnerable parts she thought shared with him. L ruminates on the fact that J never stayed rather than why she didn't. The silence is long.

​

L:

I loved you J…

(hella mad)

Still love you.

 

Though L is fuming from his vulnerability on display, he still can't help his automatic reaction to catch J's purest thoughts in her eyes. Rising fast is a well of relief, confusion, and hope. 

 

J:

(barely able to speak)

When... I mean why didn’t you ever tell me?

 

L pauses his entire frequency and looks right into J.

 

L:  

Same reason you left… Fear.

 

With the truth staring her in the face, she can't help but close her eyes and exhale all that had been locked away, probably since the day they met. Tears pour down her face as she fights for the breath to finally say the words herself.

 

L grips his forehead in frustration, slowly dragging his hand down his face. Using every ounce of strength still buried deep, he grabs J’s hand to pull her close to "let it be known" one last time, just like the first time. He presses and practically imprints onto her lips, “I love you” to the extent and with intensity of “I always have.” Gentle presses linger and whisper “stay with me” and the final touch, long and pure says “trust me.” L slowly pulls away looking into J's eyes, confirming she got the message. She locks into his and with no regard for her life in New York, J simply nods her head up and down.

 

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